


Sleeping To Deam

by orphan_account



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-20
Updated: 2011-11-20
Packaged: 2017-10-26 08:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were days whene Fernando would spend the whole day in bed. Days where he didn't want to leave the covers, his pillow, or the warmth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeping To Deam

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I think Jason Mraz is the love of my life, at least music-wise. Listened to “Sleeping To Dream” and this story was created. This was my very first fic for this fandom, so I find it fitting that I should post it first. And i'm very very fond of this one. It will forever be my favourite.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

There were days where Fernando would spend the whole day in bed. Days where he didn't want to leave the covers, his pillow, or the warmth.

It was sunny days always.

Because they made him remember, made him so much more aware of the loss, of the longing. Because the sunny and warm days reminded him of his best friend. Of ridiculous golden shorts and long brown hair. Of a friendship that was so much more, so much more that he didn’t even know how to put it into words, express it, explain it. It reminded him of being truly happy.

So on those days, Fernando would stay in bed, not bothering to eat or move.

All he did was sleep.

Because that was the only time he got to see him again. To feel his touch.

He was sleeping to dream about him. Because he missed him. He missed him so much it hurt. It hurts in his toes and in his head, the pain craws itself to his arms, his knees and chest, as well as into his heart. And the dreams would help, if only for a few minutes.

 

For during those precious moments, he was no longer lost or scared. For those few moments, he felt safe and found. He is content as he dreams about his laughter which made up for all the evil and cruelty in the world, having it echoing in his mind, he is at ease when Dream-Sergio holds him tight. And he finds himself cursing every minute that he is wasting, not being able to fall asleep, every second that's fading and never coming back.

And he realizes that it’s the only time he actually feels alive and its scares him. Because he knows that he will never be able to actually hold the younger man in his arms, nor will he ever be there to hold Fernando, to whisper sweet nothings into his ear. Be there when life just seems so unfair. And that he will never see his face light up with happiness, with a smile so wide, and so bright that it could light up the darkest off places. That he will never see him actually standing there, waiting for him during national duties training so that they could pair up.

 _Because he's gone._

And the thought makes him clutch to his cover, pulling them over his head. He is trying to hide from it.

 _Disappeared from the surface and put in the ground._

Shutting his eyes so tightly closed that his head hurts and biting his lip so hard until he’s sure he can taste blood.

And Fernando is fearful because he knows that a big part of him died with him, and is now buried within the same hole, and in the same casket. And he is so frightened because he doesn't think he'll ever be okay again.

So on sunny days he stays in bed.

Because those were the days when he sleeps to dream about Sergio, those were the days when he needed to feel alive, even though it might be in a twisted and fucked up way. So on most days, he hoped for the sun to shine.


End file.
